One girl and one boy is just not enough.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
