Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize