Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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