the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
