pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
