Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
im holly from the hills drunk
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
