Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
