Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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