I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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