I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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