ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
