Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
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