I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
