I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
