the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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