I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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