Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Randomize