Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
cat food counts as protein by the way
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
