Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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