i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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