Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Randomize
