Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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