Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
