No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
