She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Dear god my vagina.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
