1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
