when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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