Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
