No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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