you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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