I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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