Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
