You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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