I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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