im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
