Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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