My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
