i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize