this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Enjoy the penises
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
