The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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