We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
