how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize