I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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