Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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