just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I didn't notice because vodka
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
