I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
