My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I think I won the penis lottery.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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