doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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