i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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