If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
