You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
