omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
