So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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