we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
