I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
