She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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