girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
