saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
