I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
