It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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