In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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