so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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