you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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