and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
