How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
