id be glad to
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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