You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
