Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
