Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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