I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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