We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
