There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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