i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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