Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Someone came in the potted fern
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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