Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
