DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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