just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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