i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
