I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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