you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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