why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Randomize
