I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
