So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
